After enjoying watching the movie As Good As It Gets at one of the Movie Gatherings at the hotel I felt fine… until I was up on the stage. Then, with the camera recording the discussion, and an audience watching and listening, I began feeling all stirred up. Later in the evening after the event I talked it through with David and got to the feelings and beliefs that had been triggered.Lesson 12. I am upset because I see a meaningless world.Good morning Holy Spirit, last night on the stage I felt awful, cold, shaky, stirred up emotionally, and blocked – I wanted to get down and sit at the back of the room but I felt paralyzed. I kept asking You for help but it all felt so disjointed and I couldn't hear your voice. What can you tell me? Holy Spirit: You are perceiving through the egos lens. The ego was stirred up and to look back on a scene with regret or fear, wishing it was different is to perceive through it's lens. All things work together for good. Remember there are no exceptions except in the ego's judgment.Questioner: I'm considering the "lessons learnt" from the experience but I realize now that I'm perceiving them as lessons "for next time" "for the future" " so I don't have to go through that again" But this is still the ego. The lessons learnt are already past, over, done. They have nothing to do with an imaginary future. What can you tell me about this?Holy Spirit: You have picked up on this subtle ego trick several times – trying to protect the future, no matter how disguised in "helpfulness" it may appear, is the ego. Right now you can choose to focus on the past, on guilt, remorse, regret and hypotheticals, or the imaginary future, all of which are nowhere but in your imagination and they keep you distracted from the present moment. Or you can give your fears and doubt to me, remember there is only one mind, there is no-one outside of you, judging you. You are doing it all to yourself and you can let it go now.Questioner: Ok. I give it to you, all of the thoughts. I want only peace. And to know myself as perfect.From the text: The search for joy in misery will fail. (Good point Jesus).Always when I apply the experiences of the day to my lesson I am astounded at how perfectly matched they are. I am upset because I see a meaningless world. ------------------------------ Lesson 13. A meaningless world engenders fear (because I think I am in competition with God).Good morning Holy Spirit: I booked the tickets within New Zealand for David and I to fly down to the South Island and immediately after sending a suggested itinerary to the organizers all of the doubts came up with strong resistance. A strong feeling of "No more gatherings". "I don't want to go". Help!!Holy Spirit: When your motivation involves covering costs (plane tickets) you put yourself under pressure to perform. The spiritual journey is about healing your own mind, nothing else. Remember your One Goal. Give your fears and doubts to me. Trust that the plans will be given you – as they were this morning (the Guidance was to book the tickets and email the itinerary and it flowed effortlessly –the doubt came up after the action was taken) and remember that your only responsibility is to accept the healing for yourself. David is joined with you, loving you, supporting you, holding your hand whenever you need help. It is you who withdraws your hand and then feels alone. Keep your hand in his as his hand is Mine. Remember your Promise, to do Gods Will, not your own. Trust that you will receive each perfect step in your awakening plan, one moment as a time. Let the fears and doubts come up for release and remember Who's hand it is that you hold. Questioner: I don't want to do gatherings right now. Why did I set them up in NZ? Am I setting myself up to fail? I feel mixed up.Holy Spirit: You do not have to do any gatherings right now. I have set up the gatherings in NZ. They are part of the plan. Those who want healing will step up and the gatherings will unfold perfectly. You are not responsible. It is only the ego's judgment that makes things seem difficult. Return to Peace now. All is perfect. You are loved.I talked through it all with Carolina, received an email of loving support from David and before long was through the clouds of doubt. Whenever I go through this kind of turmoil I hold strong to one crucial piece of advice I was given early this year. Never make a move when you're not feeling peaceful. -----------------------------------------Lesson 14. God did not create a meaningless world.First thing in the morning after reading through my lesson I was greeted at the bedroom door by Carolina saying "Oh I have terrible period pain." I greeted her with love, went into the bathroom blocking out the message I had heard regarding pain and within seconds I had intense period pains. I applied my lesson immediately. "God did not create period pain, and so it is not real". Gone. Instantly. Within seconds. I went and told Carolina and she applied the lesson. Her pain went instantly. Gotta love those miracles!The post written on Integrity is from this day (see archives: Integrity)